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Showing posts from April, 2017

Mom, Part 1. *Warning, read at your own discretion, some content may be disturbing to some readers*

This is a really personal entry today, it is the truth as I remember it. I'm trying to write this objectively so the details are unbiased.  I won't be using names, except for my mom's, who is deceased.  Some details, may not be as accurate in the timeline because I was pretty young when a lot of this happened.  The events, however, are as I remember them, and how they were described to me, regarding the ones I was not present for.

Some of you may know, and some of you not.  My mom was a drug addict.  Crack was her drug of choice and I spent most of my child/young adulthood taking care of her and trying to make her better, to get back to the mom that I remembered and loved.
Her addictions have ruined personal friendships, relationships and divided our family.  There was always constant fighting and arguing, and anxiety and stress fueled the energy in our house.  There was A LOT of fighting and I remember waiting to see if it would settle down on its own before I would jump …

Well Shit...

I started writing a blog that I thought was clever and funny, and honestly it almost felt forced.  Already I have started to gravitate from my original realisms to writing for entertainment purposes, and then it started to feel unnatural.  Not the original intention for this blog.  So I'm taking a step back to vent about what happened in my day, because that's what this is for.

Last night I was up until 2am working on school work, tossing and turning and just generally restless because I know about the shitload of work I have to complete before the end of the week.  Having that weighing on my head is exhausting.  I'm grateful my professors were kind and understanding in giving me an extension but I'm finding it so much more stressful.

So I'm up at 6am, because that is the time my grandfather arrives every morning to spend time with the children before he drives them to school.  It was so hard to get up this morning, but of course I did and made myself some shitty C…

Just Go the Fuck to Sleep.

Here is the link in the small chance that you haven't seen this youtube video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb0t9TUNLpg

Yes it is true.  All of it.  The extra book, bullshit lies about being thirsty, frequent bathroom trips, unable to shut the fuck up, etc etc

They need to write a "Stop saying Mom, for fuck sakes" book, parents with multiple children know exactly what the fuck I am talking about.  Mom Mom Mom Mom Mama Mom MOM MOOOOOM

Till you want scream.  You really do want to.

Listen, I have cooked you supper, washed your clothes, cleaned dog shit off the carpet, washed the dishes, listened to you whine that you are thirsty when your glass of water is 5 feet from your body in your direct line of vision.  So go the fuck to sleep.

I know you are mad at me because I let you play outside instead of calling you in so you can sit down in front of the tv for an hour and watch mindless youtube videos on mindcraft.  Yes, I know you are hungry, why are you asking me what is f…

So, how's that relationship with yourself?

Do you even know what I mean?  
We have all heard about how important social relationships are, peer relationships, work relationships, immediate and extended family relationships, blah blah blah.  That's all lovely, but how is that relationship with yourself?
Have you ever thought to "date" yourself?  Buy yourself flowers?  Treat yourself to a nice meal?  Go do something for you BECAUSE you love you?  I'd say probably no.
When is the last time you asked yourself how you were doing?  What you wanted out of this relationship?  Do you see yourself with low self-esteem?  Shitty self perception?  Or do you see yourself as a great catch that any partner would be blessed to love?
You know that the most concrete relationship we have, is the one with ourselves.  We are engaged in this relationship from birth till death, unlike any other relationship we will ever have to encounter. 
Does that make sense?  
I was talking to my counselor about the relationships, unhealthy ones …

Life is Like a dick, and it will fuck you.

Yes it will.

Just like the McNeil Government.

It will bend you over like the whore you are and fuck you right in the ass and not even ask first.  It won't say please, or may I, or care what gender you are or even how you liked to be fucked.

Life will watch as you spend weeks planting those little seeds and how you care for them daily, and when you have that one split second feeling of "accomplishment,"  there is life, knocking those fuckers over and not giving a shit.

Life will be all like, "here is the sun!!  Enjoy your beautiful day!!"  and you do!  You go get your sneakers on and put on a light sweater and head out into the world and grab it by the balls!  Fuck yes!  It is a beautiful day!  Five minutes later, Life decides that you've had enough fun and happiness today.  You're done, Life knows you live in Nova Scotia and while you are out in the the sunshine, it starts to get dark and fuck, it starts snowing.  In April.  Probably in May too because…

Warning has been given, now lets do the intro - ish

Most of you who are reading this right now probably already know who I am.

I am Terri.

I am a mom of three beautiful children; Hannah who is 11, Isabelle who is 7 and my boy Beau who is 5.  They are pretty great kids, and for those who are parents, you will know, that no one teaches you more about yourself, or calls you out on your shit, like your own precious child/ren.  Blessings, honestly.

On top of being a mom, I am currently a student at MSVU doing my undergrad in Child and Youth Development with a concentration on mental health and children's rights advocacy.  I plan on going on to do my Masters and, hopefully, teach at the Mount, and implement some government programming for post-natal support and education regarding child development, from birth to 2 years.

So yes, I'm a mom, a student, a blogger (I use that term lightly, for now), mental health advocate...  Yes, mental health.  Fuck.  Ok, so my childhood wasn't a "normal" one.  Not even close.  In fac…

Fair Warning

OK!  So here it is, I need an outlet for my ever loving fucking mind!

I am not a great writer, I have no passion to be the next great mommy blogger or DIY internet sensation.  Nope, not me.  I'm your average single mom, with a crazy story, who has lived a crazy life and fuck it, I'm going to write about it.

I like to use curse words because all day using the term, "Sugar plum fairy tales" doesn't quite cut it for me.  So expect some random fuck, fuckity, no fucks given, etc to pop in and out of my vocabulary, so if that offends you, well... Get the fuck out.

I will try to be respectful, but these are my words and my thoughts, so if you care to comment please be mindful of that.  Not that I give a shit (sugar) about what you think, I need this to be a positive environment for myself and my readers, and maybe a laugh here and there.

I am hoping that you mom's out there can relate to what I am going through, what I am thinking and writing about and can find som…